tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-81173053147174778342024-03-14T03:04:53.303-04:00My 42 CentsLetters to America.Unknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger93125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8117305314717477834.post-65581565180956149772012-09-27T16:08:00.000-04:002012-10-03T10:21:23.050-04:00A Letter to a Product Developer
Phillip L. Noren
Product Development Manager,
Target
1000
Nicollet Mall
Minneapolis, MN 55403-2467
Dear Phil,
Excuse me
while I put on my bathing suit, because I’m about to jump in the shark tank. I
was in my bed last night, tossing and turning under the tyrannical memories of yesteryear,
when the most brilliant product idea came upon me. As product development
manager Unknownnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8117305314717477834.post-63616439846855334522012-08-13T15:55:00.000-04:002012-08-13T15:55:31.456-04:00A Letter to Notre Dame Athletic Director Jack Swarbrick
Jack Swarbrick, Esq.
University Vice
President and Director of Athletics
University of Notre
Dame
C113 Joyce Center
Notre Dame, IN 46556
Dear Mr. Swarbrick,
Top o’ the morning to
you, laddy! It is my infinite pleasure to make your written acquaintance, sir,
and may the (unremarkable) wind be at your back as you read this letter. You
may not remember this, but we have met before. In Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8117305314717477834.post-56123489973009115672010-09-23T00:40:00.000-04:002010-09-23T00:40:06.604-04:00A Letter To George T. HugginsGeorge T. Huggins12129 Glen Canyon Rd NE
Albuquerque, NM 87111 Dear Mr. Huggins, Hello to you, sir! May I just say what an honor it is to have finally found you and made your acquaintance, although, quite obviously, the war will not be won until I have your hand firmly gripped in my own, perhaps with my other arm raised up to lightly hold onto your forearm, but naturally not reaching past Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8117305314717477834.post-14317679514663948572010-01-27T14:44:00.002-05:002010-02-10T12:14:02.116-05:00A Letter to My Pretend WifeI changed the name and address of this letter. Not sure why, it just felt like the prudent thing to do.
Dearest Jane,
How are you? It's been so long. I remember playing tag with you and your sister like it was yesterday. This was back in South Bend, when we lived across the street from one another. I wish I was seven again, and could go knocking on your door to see who was home. Neighbors Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8117305314717477834.post-9901903151139152252009-11-19T15:21:00.000-05:002009-11-19T15:21:38.740-05:00A Letter to an AnthropologistWriting consistently is hard when job searching. A man can only spend so many hours in front of a computer screen before going insane.
Dr. Susan D. Blum
University of Notre Dame
Department of Anthropology
611 Flanner Hall
Notre Dame, IN 46556
Dear Dr. Blum,
While growing a beard the other day, an interesting question popped into my mind that I wanted to share with you. I have sought out your Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8117305314717477834.post-18386074230546446612009-11-05T11:21:00.000-05:002009-11-05T11:21:14.847-05:00A Letter to GusterI can't find an address right now and I'm at work, so I'll find one later tonight.
Dear Mr. Guster,
Before I start, let me explain that I get it. I love music. I played a recorder as a child, up until my hands were "work ready" at the age of 9. After that I just sang in the choir, although being a single child and homeschooled our choir lacked a certain harmony, and with only one member my Unknownnoreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8117305314717477834.post-63199300025177961032009-10-26T13:14:00.000-04:002009-10-26T13:14:08.454-04:00A Letter to the MallIt's almost winter and I want to puke.
Polaris Fashion Center
1500 Polaris Parkway
Columbus, OH 43240
Attn: Michael Minns, General Manager
Dear Mr. Minns,
As the Holiday Season draws near my heart fills with the good cheer of the Christmas season. You know, Christmas was always my favorite holiday as a child. My Mother, a generally strict woman of Norwegian descent, would wake us at sunrise Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8117305314717477834.post-78162947620281028272009-10-23T16:11:00.001-04:002009-10-23T16:12:37.943-04:00A Letter to ClintonvilleI need me some weekend.
Clintonville Area Commission
President James Blazer II
333 E North Broadway
Columbus, OH 43202
Dear Mr. Blazer,
I bet you'd know exactly what I was talking about if I told you my home is filled with clutter. Who doesn't have a closet filled with old junk they never throw away? Well, I'm just like you and all those other completely normal people. And just like those Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8117305314717477834.post-35028807618678998722009-10-22T11:12:00.000-04:002009-10-22T11:12:05.739-04:00Blog Relaunching!Welcome (back) to My42Cents! This blog will be written again regularly, along with some new features I'd like to take you through. It's now easier than ever to follow along with the correspondence, as well as share your favorite letters over a wide range of social networking sites.
First, you'll notice the re-tooled right column complete with a Top Ten Letters list for first-time visitors and a Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8117305314717477834.post-20684949192778015762009-10-20T14:49:00.002-04:002009-10-20T15:11:29.456-04:00A Letter to the Hearst Tower in Charlotte, NCI'm back. Yeeeeeeeaaaaaaaahhh!Building ManagementLincoln Harris Hearst Tower Suite #2370 214 North Tryon Street Charlotte, NC 28202Dear Mr. Harris,Hello, my future friend. I hail from Columbus, capital city of heart-shaped Ohio, where the corn grows knee high by the 4th of July and merry girls will show you the world! I am a businessman, which means a lot of traveling across this great country ofUnknownnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8117305314717477834.post-71716620717158871052009-08-28T12:16:00.002-04:002009-08-28T12:45:12.767-04:00A Letter to the Mayor of Correctionville, IAMayor Don Dixon312 Driftwood StreetCorrectionville, IA 51016Dear Mayor Dixon,Hello from Ohio. It is a pitiful day filled with the billowing emptiness of failure. Like a sheet tossed over you, the day slowly turns hot and choking until you're left to scratch helplessly at an invisible fabric, drawn taut around you by the restless turning of your body as you struggle to make even one bit of Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8117305314717477834.post-91978407836226661722009-07-13T11:28:00.003-04:002009-07-13T11:57:59.005-04:00A Letter to Notre Dame's Athletic DepartmentJack SwarbrickAthletic DirectorUniversity of Notre DameC113 Joyce Center Notre Dame, IN 46556Dear Mr. Swarbrick, Esquire,Good day to you, sir. As a former citizen of South Bend who grew up just a few blocks from Notre Dame Stadium, I have been a lifelong fan of the Irish. I watch every football game and have even been to a few myself (your hot dogs are the best!).I'm writing to you, however, Unknownnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8117305314717477834.post-21916443552259072682009-06-23T21:04:00.002-04:002009-06-23T21:30:43.052-04:00A Letter To UbisoftDon't get used to it.Jason VandenbergheCreative Director - Red Steel 2Ubisoft ParisAusterlitz 2000173-179 rue du Chevaleret75646 Paris Cedex 13Dear Mr. Vanderbeek,Bon jour from Ohio! I wanted to wish you good luck and God speed on your latest endeavor, creative directoring for the upcoming video game Red Steel 2. Initial impressions look great, and I've already put this game at the top of my Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8117305314717477834.post-71631659045541371632009-05-06T12:26:00.002-04:002009-05-06T12:49:13.040-04:00A Letter to the CDCHi.Director - Richard E. Besser, M.D.Center For Disease Control and Prevention1600 Clifton RoadAtlanta, GA 30333Dear Dr. Besser,Good day and God Bless. I want to wish you strength and vigilance as you lead our country's fight against impending threats like the H1N1 virus. There are so many, many things to be afraid of in this day and age, and in trying to reduce that number to around 100 or so, IUnknownnoreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8117305314717477834.post-61827623879082335322009-04-23T15:34:00.003-04:002009-04-23T16:24:59.371-04:00A Letter to KleenexDon't forget to read the new reply posted below.CEO Thomas J. FalkKleenex SubsidiaryKimberly-Clark CorporationPO Box 619100Dallas, TX 75261-9100Dear Mr. Falk,Congratulations on turning 50 this past year! It's a very special time in a man's life. Have you gone gray yet? Take it in stride, Tom. We all know the ones who are dipping brown. May I ask a personal question? Does it go gray Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8117305314717477834.post-76874042431611568202009-04-23T13:26:00.004-04:002009-04-23T13:32:46.334-04:00New Reply!If I can load it properly. Big if.Click here for the Land Shark Lager Original Letter.Reply:They also included a pretty nifty brushed nickel bottle opener with the Land Shark logo on it. Time to live the Margaritaville lifestyle!Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8117305314717477834.post-45140320305099932272009-04-16T14:38:00.002-04:002009-04-16T15:51:41.422-04:00A Letter to Newscaster Andrea CambernI cleaned up on manager's specials today. A box of donuts for 79 cents, loaves of rye for 1.29. I passed on the select choice roast beef, though. It had passed its prime. Get it? Do you get it? You better get it.Andrea CambernAnchor - WBNS TV770 Twin Rivers DriveColumbus, Ohio 43215Dear Ms. Cambern,Greetings from Clintonville! It's interesting to me how quaint all of Columbus' neighborhoods soundUnknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8117305314717477834.post-31428560686698888482009-03-31T15:02:00.003-04:002009-03-31T15:38:32.388-04:00A Letter to the City of BellefontaineThe job search continues.Mayor Adam BrannonCity of BellefontaineMunicipal Building, Floor 2135 N Detroit StreetBellefontaine, OH 43311Dear Mr. Mayor,I'd like to officially throw my name in the hat for the city of Bellefontaine's official whatever-you're-hiring for-right-now. Do I need to know what exactly it is your city needs? No, I do not, because I see the answer to that question every time IUnknownnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8117305314717477834.post-89369193504532574952009-03-23T15:52:00.002-04:002009-03-23T16:46:34.102-04:00A Letter to Fred's TransmissionI was just a skinny lad, never knew no good from bad.Fred's Transmission and Clutch4410 Lincolnway EastMishawaka, IN 46544Dear Fred,I have a bit of a quandary I was hoping you could help me out with. You see, my brother suffers from a rare disease called porphyric dyslexia syndrome, or PDS. His brain will sometimes pull up a memory or image and switch it with whatever he's supposed to be focusingUnknownnoreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8117305314717477834.post-22508198989270671192009-03-17T09:55:00.004-04:002009-03-17T11:17:42.083-04:00A Letter to the Mexican RestaurantIf that Pioneer Woman blog can be nominated for an award, so can I.General ManagerEl Vaquero Mexican Restaurant3230 Olentangy River RoadColumbus, OH 43202Hola Sir or Madam,Gracias for reading my letter, I'm sure you are a very busy muchacho. I love American Mexican food, it's the best comfort meal you can find. I've been to a lot of places in my day, too, but none of them as near to my house as Unknownnoreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8117305314717477834.post-81101140118268632692009-03-10T16:28:00.003-04:002009-03-10T16:59:41.582-04:00A Letter to Parks and RecreationHope schmope, you can't change Washington.Jerry Saunders - PresidentColumbus Parks and Recreation1111 E. Broad StreetColumbus, OH 43205Dear Mr. Saunders,Are you fat? I'm sorry to pry, but if you are fat it well help my proceeding argument. Plus, it's a real eye-catching way to open a letter. In our fast-paced world of today, it's so important to be able to grab attention. Sex! Wild asps! StrategoUnknownnoreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8117305314717477834.post-42784006890410838582009-03-06T12:13:00.004-05:002009-03-09T13:14:39.387-04:00A Letter to the Guy With the Astro-Turf LawnJust driving around the neighborhood, la-la-la, that grass sure looks green for March, la-la-la, wait a minute, does that guy have an Astro Turf yard, la-la-la, looks like I have a letter idea for Monday, la-la-la.Current Resident349 Oakland ParkColumbus Ohio, 43214Dear Mr. Current Resident,As the weather warms in central Ohio, myself and other outdoor sports enthusiasts will be dusting off our Unknownnoreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8117305314717477834.post-5869494382826025532009-03-03T11:14:00.003-05:002009-03-03T13:23:20.418-05:00A Letter to the Man Who Took My DogThis isn't really a funny letter. Sorry.Gregory Bognar56779 Joseph LaneSouth Bend, IN 46619Dear Mr. Bognar,This is going to sound a little strange. Well, it will think a little strange, unless you're reading it out loud. You see, I'm not sure if you are who I think you are. We may have met once, and if so that means I was only at your house one time about 5-6 years ago. I just guessed on the Unknownnoreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8117305314717477834.post-26343672117255304322009-02-25T16:18:00.002-05:002009-02-25T16:45:54.787-05:00A Letter to Landshark LagerIt's pretty funny how surprised and affronted people get when you call and ask for their mailing address. "You want our mailing address? What for?!"1 Busch PlaceAttn: 202-8CRGLandshark LagerReference #: 5389069Dear Brewmaster,Whew, that address is a doozy! I couldn't find it online, so I called your phone number and talked to Janelle. She wouldn't give me the address at first and wanted to take Unknownnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8117305314717477834.post-42152998381445231932009-02-23T11:54:00.003-05:002009-02-23T12:22:22.954-05:00A Letter to Bob EvansThis is off-topic, but Natalie Portman is the best. My thought process goes like this: She's Jewish (I can become Jewish), she's hot (I can work out more), she lives in New York or something (I can drive there), she my age (I'm my age), she looks really sweet (5 out of 6 isn't bad). So, I'm saying there's a chance.Attn: General ManagerBob Evans Restaurant3140 Olentangy River RoadColumbus, Ohio Unknownnoreply@blogger.com3