Sunday, October 19, 2008

A Letter to CD101

CD101 is an alternative radio station in Columbus. I don't have numbers, but it's a yearly runaway winner in Columbus Monthly's Best List. They have listeners. The strange part is their website, which is pretty ugly.

My letter, however, focuses on their weekday morning DJs, Joe Jewett, Doctor Smith and Krista Kae. I wonder what Doctor Smith's Ph.D. is in. Better not be something dumb, like podiatry.

503 S. Front St.
Suite 101
Columbus, Ohio 43215
Phone: (614) 221-9923
Fax: (614) 227-0021

Dear Weekday Morning DJs,

I just had to write and tell you all what a wonderful time I recently had while listening to your radio station. I turned to it while making my morning 9:15 commute to work and was pleasantly surprised by how much I enjoyed each of your voices. Usually I hate DJ voices (they remind me of my deceased neighbor), but you all sound like real, normal people. Your voices even go together great, like in a harmony. Maybe you should make an album! I’d buy it as a stocking stuffer.

I also really enjoyed the “Fool the Guesser” game where you guessed callers’ weights and birth months. The questions you came up with were very original! I never would have thought of a few of them. I think it’s such a great tradition, that I had a suggestion: could you play other carnival games? My favorite is when you fill a balloon with a water pistol. I don’t know how exactly this will work over radio, but I’m sure you could think of an interesting solution. You thought of all those great questions!

Thanks for all the great work you three do, and please let me know what you think of my water pistol idea. I will always listen to CD 101 when I’m driving to work now, it’s the best.

I really like your building, too! It looks like a big castle.

Yours in trust,

The Correspondent

P.S. I don’t like your afternoon DJ. Her speaking voice sounds as if she’s trying to sing while eating taffy. If I had to describe her voice in one word, it would be “jarmled.” I have a feeling she’s always smiling, which makes me distrust her. Otherwise, great work!

This was the first letter I wrote, many weeks ago, and despite the fact that it's addressed to a Columbus business that prides itself on being alternative, I've received no response. I even told them exactly when I listen to their station, but I never even got a radio shout-out. This kind of terrible PR can only mean one thing: that damn afternoon DJ also doubles as CD101's mailroom caddy.

I wasn't kidding about their building, either, it's a great big red castle. Like in Redwall. What a wonderful book series.