A Letter To My Blog Twin

I found out this man has a blog with the same name as mine! You can read it here.

*Note: As was pointed out by a really attractive girl I've never met, I did have two versions of this letter up. To explain, I changed the part about my lady friend and her sister when I decided it wasn't that good. I'm still not that happy with the current part, but this is the version that was mailed.


Mr. Jeffrey Thomas
Surrey, North Dakota

Dear Mr. Thomas,

I’m writing to inform you that you have infringed upon my blog name, My 42 Cents. I totally thought of that name before you, and I even started my blog on October 6th, 2008 – a full two weeks before your first post. Even though I use Blogger and you use a different hosting site, I still think the Internet is too small for the both of us.

Just kidding! Oh my god, we’re blog twins! I always wanted a twin. My older brothers were twins and they got to live in the basement together, which doesn’t sound that great until I tell you that our basement was so awesome! They had bunk beds and a little TV with an Atari and a Nintendo, and on the side of the staircase the wall was covered in corkboard that you could stick things on, and they even had built-in bookcases and sometimes we’d arrange the pins in the corkboard to look like a penis.

Plus, they always had so many inside jokes! I remember one time, when I was little, they were downstairs reading a book about questions teenagers should ask themselves, and one of them was, “What’s the one adult thing you’d like to do but can’t?” They both looked at each other with these real sly grins and started snickering, but when I asked them what was so funny they said I had to wait until I was older. I’m 25 now, Jeff, what in the hell did they want to do?!

To make matters worse, my girlfriend is also a twin. It's true what they tell you, twins really do make up their own language. Good luck competing with that. I barely passed freshman year Russian! Dstraszwoui, mena Misha. Da. Nyet. That's it! Do you know how hard it was passing an oral conversation exam using five words? Meanwhile, the Zygote Club over here is making dinner plans using telepathy.

Anyway, now that you and I are blog twins it really takes the sting out. This is so cool, we should totally meet. I once drove through South Dakota, though, and it was incredibly boring, so you’re going to have to come to Ohio. Let me know what weekend you’ll be in town, and I’ll take you to Skyline Chili. Just please don’t embarrass me there like my mother did. She asked the waitress if they had any slaw. Not even cole slaw, any slaw. Sometimes I can’t believe we came out of that woman.


In Brotherhood,


The Correspondent