Friday, November 28, 2008

A Letter To 103.9 The Bear

It just occurred to me that this it the second radio station I've written. Also, I apologize for the terrible updates this week; Thanksgiving threw me for a loop (I cook, not just show up.) I will work on building a back log this weekend so I may continue posting each weekday starting on Monday.

WRBR Radio
237 West Edison Road
Mishawaka, IN 46545
Attn: General Station Manager

Dear Sir or Madam,

If I may, I would like to offer you cordial greetings from Columbus, Ohio. We have many radio stations here in the capital city of the Buckeye state, but I must confess that none of them hold a candle to the sheer rockicity of The Bear. You broadcast at such a high level of awesomity that I sometimes think I can pick up your signal on my car radio, if I can only tune the dial just right. Unfortunately, I then realize I am picking up 103.9 Talk FM, and what I confused for rock is actually Dennis Miller, who is simply god-awful. I thought perhaps it was just Nickelback.

Anyway, the reason I am writing you today is because I am a very punctual man, and I like to plan ahead. I always set my clothes out on the chair the night before I go to bed, and I always notify my special lady friend three days before lovemaking so that she may properly hydrate. As station manager, I'm sure you can relate to adhereing by a strict schedule. Please excuse me for a moment while I perform my 8:30constitutional.

Thank you. Now, I will be visiting my grandmother, who lives in Mishawaka, on the 26th of December to celebrate the Christmas season with her, and I would like to request a song as I arrive in town. At approximately 6:40 PM I expect to be between Lapaz and the US 20 Bypass exit on state route 31, well within your listening range. If it pleases you, I would like to request "some Queens of the Stone Age."

So you don't think me unreasonable, I have left ample wiggle room as to the actual song selection, as I'm reasonably assured that any QotSA will fit my mood that evening. Just to be clear, though, I particularly enjoy the piece "3's and 7's." Just putting that out there.

Please let me know as soon as you can if you anticipate fulfilling my request, as I will need to adjust my plans otherwise. I am prepared to request "Mrs. Brown, You've Got A Lovely Daughter" by Herman's Hermits from Oldies 94.3, and four minutes of static from U93, if necessary. Good day to you.

In Rock We Trust,

The Correspondent


Anonymous said...

As a South Bender, I must protest. A mere four minutes of static is sorely insufficient. Can we not press for twenty?

Anonymous said...

Actually I quite enjoy watching Dennis Miller rant and rave on Bill O'Reilly every week or so.

Tom said...

Mrs. Brown You've Got a Lovely Daughter. Really?

Anonymous said...

Whoa, I think your blog twin is posting in the comments section.

"The worlds are colliding, Jerry!"

Anonymous said...

Applying "icity" makes any word perfectly cromulent.

Tom said...

Yes, 42jeff is pretty cool for posting.

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